Vent, I suppose..
MiserableWhat keeps YOU all from giving up?
I've already asked people..But I don't have anything that they have.
Family?
Oh, please.. My family wouldn't give a crap if I dropped off edge of the world. To my sister, i'm just a fucking punchbag. Someone that she hits and screams at and shoves when shes annoyed; someone to take all of her anger out on. My mum...I don't even know what she thinks about me. One minute shes fine with me, the next minute she's screaming at me over nothing. I know that she doesn't accept me for who and what I am, and even i've come to accept that. And my dad..I've always held a grudge against him after what he did all of those years ago..And i'm expected to forgive him when he's made me afraid of so many things. He tries to irritate me to get arguments and fights...When i'm upset, he'll say shit from a different room to get me fired up. He actually makes my blood boil at times.
Friends?
What fucking friends. The friends I thought I had left..Are they really friends? What do they even think about me? Do THEY care about me? I don't even know if I can answer that question anymore. They leave me on my own to deal with things myself. They never help me. They'll only come to me when they want something, knowing that i'm a push over, so i'll do anything that they want. I'm fed up of being a push over. But even if I stopped, I know i'd have nobody left.
Beliefs?
I have nothing to believe in. I can't FIND anything to believe in. Not while i'm alive, anyway. Sure, I believe in the afterlife and spiritual stuff..but whats that going to do? It'll only make me want death to knock at my door quicker. I can't believe in anything religious, because I simply CAN'T believe in something that I find...Bullshit, to be honest. And the more I have religions shoved down my throat, the more I DON'T want to believe in it.
I was living for one thing, to be honest. But I don't think she'd care if I left here. Not anymore... Not if she finds amusement in my pain. Not if she laughs when I cry. Not if our conversations lately only consist in her not taking me seriously, making fun of me and making harsh comments. The one thing I look forward to in a day is talking to her and being loved. There is no love..And if there is..I can't feel it from her anymore...Which is only causing me more pain.
I'm finding it harder to draw. Finding it harder to write. I'm getting no inspiration from anything...And recently I haven't cared enough to do anything. I feel alone and betrayed. I just want to curl up and sleep, and never wake up. I just want to slip away from reality and the pain I go through everyday; And never return...I feel as if i'm slipping away already. I feel as though everything I am and everything I was going to be is crumbling and falling from my grasp, with nothing left but an empty shell..And there's nothing I can do about it.
Nemo shall be happy, I suppose.
I'm done now, lol. Well done if you read all that! But please, don't leave a bitchy comment about how i'm whining and shit.
I've had enough of that from the one I love.
It's always nice to see that people are interested in my work~!
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yeeee i like choclate puddin
how to be splee free [link]
[url=[link] plz click there
This year, we're celebrating the end of the year with a twist! We'd love it if you could come to Hyde park on Saturday the 19th of December at around 12 o'clock for the last cosplay meet of 2009. Though cosplay is not compulsory, we'd love to see you in your cosplay, especially if it's Christmas themed. XD
This is a public get together, so anyone and everyone is welcome, so please, if there's any additional friends or groups you'd like to invite, forward this note or let peeps know about the meet.
Please organise your own transport, and we'll meet you near to Hyde Park Corner station. If you have any other questions please email us at spiralfishcakes@hotmail.com, we hope to see you there!
Please Spread the Word!
Dando
(P.S. I'll be the one with a sign saying "cheese")
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<img src="http://dragcave.net/image/K5Ny.gif" style="border-width: 0" alt="Adopt one today!"/>
I like to play my Sitar
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A pourd memder of ~akatsukimadnesss
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Ahhh my slinky!!! D:
the best hidan fan!!!
／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、ﾞ ~ヽ
じしf_, )ノ
Hurrr you were such an adorable Tobi! ;w;
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A pourd memder of ~akatsukimadnesss
--
Ahhh my slinky!!! D:
the best hidan fan!!!
／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､ ｡ ７
l、ﾞ ~ヽ
じしf_, )ノ
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RAW! RAW! FIGHT THE POWER!!
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